fakeplasticsnow's Fic Masterlist
October 2007 - present

I told myself that I'd make a masterlist once I finished at least ten fics, so here it is, arranged in chronological order [edit 12/12/2009: rearranged with newest fics at the top]. I've also included a fic challenge table masterlist, also arranged in chronological order (from when I started each table).

ETA: Credit estrangedsanity for my fierce Bjork mood theme, and kawaii_not for my adorable animated icons!


( Click to see masterlists )

Title: What Would Patti LuPone Do?
Fandom: Glee
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kurt/Puck
Words: 10,949
Summary: Liz Phair used to be so awesome. Also: Spanish lessons, fantasy sequences, fun with anagrams, stupid boy feelings, glances across a cafeteria, and an "Incubus," whatever the hell that is.
Timeline: post-Episode 1.08 ("Wheels" -- the one where Kurt sings "Defying Gravity")
A/N: I actually still like Liz Phair as she is now. I'm a bigger fan of Lisa Loeb, though. ...I am a dork.

Two songs that might be relevant to this fic:
Liz Phair - "Fuck and Run"
In the Heights cast - "Sunrise"


( Are you two an item? Is this like High School Musical, where the athlete gets together with the innocent looking one with a squeaky high voice, who secretly has a wild side and has naked pictures of herself all over the internet? Kurt, do you have naked pictures of yourself all over the internet? Can I see them? Will Quinn's baby have three fathers? Kurt, does this mean you're gay now? )

HIATUS

I won't be around this November. Part of that is because I'm swamped with college stuff (I am lame and would like to get on the dean's list), and the other part is because November is when Kris and Adam's albums drop, so I have to step away from the internet to avoid the imminent fanwarring, wankery, gloating, etc. I don't think my Oversensitive Kris Stan self can handle it.

Knowing my fandom history, "November hiatus" probably means this LJ will be dormant until next year, or whenever I decide on a new fandom (Idol S9? Lie to Me? Glee?). I've always been a summer girl, and summer's been over for a while now. And bad things happen when I get too invested? Ahaha.

I'll still be around for the comms I'm helping maintain, although preromantics and yeats are doing an A+ job on idolmeta, and I can send those Ask the Author reminder emails and mod aific from the relative safety of my own GMail inbox. It would make me happy if you kept me on your f-lists, though I'll understand if you don't want to. And I might pop by your LJs every once in a while if someone needs an e-hug! :)

By the way, I'll be doing Ask the Author on idolmeta tomorrow at 6pm EST, and it would mean a lot to me if y'all dropped by. That'd be very awesome. *nods*

It's been AMAZING, guys. Best fandom ever. ♥

See you all next summer!

OH MY HRNNNNNNNH

Which one of you guys got me a paid account? OMG OMG. Let me know so I can, like, write you a drabble or something -- no wait, shit, I suck at drabble. But I want to do something for you! Or at least thank you properly. This is really sweet. ♥

Hee, my icon. YOUR MIND. IS IT BLOWN?

So, you know, one evening I saw a mouse paddling about in our swimming pool, and all I did was stare slack-jawed. I didn't even think to scream because I was just too "wait, whaaat?" about the whole thing. A swimming mouse! Life is strange.

Neither of these things have anything to do with this meme, but whatever. MEME!

My username: Fake Plastic Snow. Lyrics from a Radiohead song, and the title of my favorite Ugly Betty episode. It was a real bitch coming up with a username, actually -- every song title I wanted was taken: heartshapedbox, lithium, paranoidandroid, scatterheart, paganpoetry. Sigh.

My profile name: Six martinis and a broken heart to go. It's the title of this tasty compilation of jazzy 50's and 60's tracks. I just thought it sounded pretty. I was actually listening to Johnny Mathis's "Chances Are" in my last few days of writing Little Boxes; it's such a winsome song.

My journal title: Six martinis and a broken heart to go. Previously Splender lyrics: Just a slap in the face that won't show / Just a tear rolling down the window.

My journal subtitle: I don't understand the situation as well as I'd like to. From the text on John Mayer's old Twitter profile pic. You know how I am with John Mayer references. Full quote: "I gotta be honest with you, I don't understand the situation as well as I'd like to."

My friends page: Fake Plastic Friends. Because there's obviously a running theme in this LJ. (Fake plastic music, fake plastic mood, fake plastic thoughts/comments...)



(I am tagging ALL OF YOU. Also, fuck how did I not know Ian Somerhalder had a new TV show? Homina homina homina. Must re-watch The Rules of Attraction.)

Art does not excuse rape.

(Also, fuck yeah, Bill Maher! ILU.)

I always say jehane18 is my mother figure in Idol fandom, which she is, in a way, but now that I think about it, she's more like the cool, kooky aunt you get drunk and talk about boys with whenever she visits unannounced. But she's also the aunt who's always just a phone call away, and will be on the next red eye in a snap the moment a boy breaks your heart.

Thank you, Drunky Aunt Paula, for all of your patience and support; for putting up with my incessant teenagery whining and occasionally sensitive ego (occasionally!), for encouraging me to do more and be more, for still saying I'm an awesome beta even if I don't always go beyond my usual line-by-line stuff, for making me feel like I'm Chuck fucking Palahniuk even though I'm just a ditzy teenager who dresses funny and likes theater and writes every once in a while. My path in Idol fandom would've been very different had I not met you!

You and I both know I couldn't write you a gift fic because I'm not into Cookleta, hee, but I believe every great fic should have a fanmix. So, this is my gift fanmix for your All I Really Need is You series. I couldn't go for the obvious choices like Neil Diamond songs or "You Can Leave Your Hat On" since I...probably wasn't born yet when those came out, but here's a bunch of tracks from my personal collection that I thought would fit this story very well. You can affix this to your final chapter, or link to this post in your other chapters, it's totally up to you. :)

I've already told you countless times that I am incredibly proud to be a part of it -- I wouldn't have been able to sit through so many chapters of Cookleta had I felt otherwise! And reading the amazing reactions you incite from people makes me kind of misty, myself. ♥

( K's Choice | Splender | Psapp | Trading Yesterday | Foo Fighters )

(Yay @ my sexy new default icon!)

Really old meme. Re-doing it years later, because I'm bored. Do it too, guys, I wanna see what you're reading! *peeks*

1. Grab the nearest book.
   
2. Open the book to page 123.
   
3. Find the fifth sentence.
   
4. Post the text of the next 5 sentences on your lj along with these instructions.
   
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

"But it's all in Italian, so you can't watch it stoned," I say, trying to be rude, turn her off. "Subtitles, you know."

"Yeah," she smiles kindly, still in love with me.

"What I mean, like, um, why are those maps, um...Yeah, like what are those maps doing up there?" I ask. What a dwid.


- The Rules of Attraction, Bret Easton Ellis (I didn't cheat, honest! I had it on my bed because I was trying to get some inspiration for this fic I'm writing. Slutty collegiates FTW.)

Nabbed from rlmoonyk.

( My whiny, whiny life, in romantic comedy form! )

I have no idea why I keep making Reese Witherspoon comparisons in my AI meta thoughts/discussions. I like her just fine, but I'm not a huge fan or anything. (Rachel Griffiths OWNS MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER.) I just realized it in the middle of writing a scene yesterday.

Stuff that came up in discussions:
Adam = Reese Witherspoon in Pleasantville
Katy = Reese Witherspoon in Election (LOL she totally is! I mean it as a compliment, but it could go either way.)
Kris = Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde (I made the reference in my dysfunctional!Kris fic) and Cruel Intentions (natch).

I suppose I could fit in a Walk the Line reference somewhere, but I haven't actually seen that movie, because I am lame.

Moving on: While re-organizing my tags, I came across an old entry I wrote for my Secret Santa for 3_ships, specifying what I wanted in my gift fic:

Actual sex isn't necessary in the story, but a lot of mind-fucking, psychological torture and character introspection will make me love you forever and hand you an endless supply of internets.

Dear 17-year-old me: HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME, YOU SICK TWISTED FUCK. I LOVE YOU.

But then I reread some fic I wrote when I was 15, and it was decidedly less than awesome.

Topic #3 (the most important one): I'm eating gummy bears right now! From this German brand, Haribo -- my aunt used to buy them for me when I was a kid. Fruity and yummy and yay. I like the colorless ones. OMNOMNOM. ...NOMNOM. NOM. NOM. ...NOM...

Okay, I did not just get misty-eyed listening to bb Kris's new single.

No.





(I totally did. OMG SO PROUD OF HIMMMMM)

Adam Lambert really does like scented candles IRL!



I don't keep up with interviews much nowadays, but a Little Boxes commenter brought it to my attention this morning. Between this and that Adamoopy article two months ago -- BABY IT'S REAL. SO, SO REAL. (THAT I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN THE WAY THAT IT'S MAKING ME FEEL.) \o/

Now I just need Anoop to confirm that he's a Mythbusters fan. (Marry me, Grant Imahara. And marry me, Anoop Desai. Threesome of nerdy-sexy goodtimes, do want.)

Title: L.A.'s Gonna Eat You Alive: The Diary of Matt Giraud
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Matt/Adam, Megan/Anoop, mentions of Kris and Dadam, and if you squint really hard you'll see Gokey, Allison and Tatiana
Disclaimer: OMG never happened. And no, I don't believe that Matt Giraud is this stupid in real life.
Genre: slash, AU, sheer idiocy
Words: 10,444
Summary: You think you know, but you have no idea. Or whatever they used to say on MTV. Man, I love having deep thoughts.
Based on: Story format of Bridget Jones's Diary, premise of Ugly Betty. (Think, Matt's fedora = Betty's Guadalajara poncho.) And one scene influenced by the Iron Man film.
Warning: You know how everybody hates first person POV, run-on sentences, capslock, messy tense-switching and nonsensical, cartoony characterizations? This fic has ALL OF THAT.
A/N: So, if you thought my last Matt/Adam story was nuts? THIS IS EVEN STUPIDER. This shit. It is bananas. But I laughed so hard while writing it, and I think this may be my favorite Anoop characterization yet. This fic is like an extended version of the Danny__Gokey parody Twitter. But for Matt.
Dedication: I wrote this as a thank you gift for phaballa, who sat through two weeks and four revisions and multiple episodes of my angst and self-loathing to help me turn Sick Cycle Carousel into Something I Don't Actually Hate. ♥ So as a token of my gratitude, I present the 10,000-word version (original excerpt here) where everybody turns into a Mary Sue. IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
Title taken from: A John Mayer song, of course.

( I don't know how much actual work I'm getting done as Adam's PA, because my 'job' mostly involves helping him pick out which sequined belt to wear (I had no idea 'purple or iridescent white?' would be such a hard question), answering all his ex-boyfriends' voice mails in my Gay Robin Williams voice while I pretend I'm Adam's boyfriend, and sometimes going to music clubs for 'talent discovery' when we're really just trying out all the drinks in the city. )

Oh, joy! A shiny new meme!

I'd like to thank my mother figure/bad influence/Drunk Horny Aunt Paula jehane18 for giving me this exciting new opportunity to talk endlessly about myself some more!

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!".
I will then give you five words that remind me of you.
Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

( Kris Allen | Being ADHD XD | Career | Advocacy | Fandom )

Title: Turn a No into a Yes in Ten Tour Dates (Matt Giraud Shows You How!)
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: R
Pairing: Matt Giraud/Adam Lambert
Disclaimer: OMG never happened.
Genre: slash, crack, crack, more crack
Words: 3,965
Timeline: Idols Live! Tour (July - September 2009)
Summary: No, there is nothing weird about making ten separate attempts and non-attempts to blow Adam. Matt thinks it's an awesome idea, no matter how many times Anoop rolls his eyes.
Based on: How I Met Your Mother, Season 3, Episode 13: "Ten Sessions"
A/N: LOL IDEK. Seriously, this is quite stupid. Although the running joke with Kris is probably my favorite thing I've ever written. Anyway, this is my second attempt at crack -- the first one, which is much crackier, is still undergoing some editing, and should be up in a few days. (And click here to check out my Matty G. theories!)
Pointers: QED: Originally Latin meaning "quod erat demonstrandum" or "which was to be shown or proven", now used mainly by physics students to insult someone when something is proven wrong or false.

( I've got nothing to lose. I think being known as the guy who did really awesome things to Adam's dick would actually make me more famous. )

I firmly believe that Matt Giraud is the Secret Weapon of AI fanfic.

Matt also leads to lulzy meta discussions. It got even more in-depth this time around since my beta, phaballa, is a pop culture junkie like I am, and thus gets all my references. Ergo, lulzy beta sessions in which we come up with TV character analogies for Matty G:

( MattLovin. Mattourage. Matt's Anatomy. )

Between my fucked up body clock and moderator duties for aiholidaybash and aific, I totally forgot that there was supposed to be an Anon Post on ontd_ai today. LOL. I can't decide if I'm proud or annoyed. Probably both.

BRB reading.

Or can someone summarize it for me?

Title: Sick Cycle Carousel (2/2)
Rating: R
Pairing: Kris/Adam
A/N: (The self-indulgent babbling -- and fanmix! -- deserved its own post.)



( Some people don't cry. Some people fuck their best friends into oblivion, write songs about them, and leave stalkery messages on their ex-wives' voicemail. It happens. It's...normal. Ish. )